Last year I posted the beside photo on LinkedIn as a gentle reminder. It’s also one point of NEL Coaching’s philosophy which you will find here. I know it’s a basic statement. Yet it’s a very important one, because all to often we forget that change can only be created by changing ourselves first. We know this and yet we so often expect that others change first. Or we wish that they change for us. And of course, this hardly ever works.
I often wondered why this simple wisdom of change is so often neglected in every day life. Yesterday, I suddenly read a very easy answer. It came out of the blue and from an industry I hardly ever follow – Hollywood movies. I usually don’t watch the “Oscars” and to be honest, I find those award shows a bit ridiculous. But never mind. For some reason, I found an acceptance speech in my YouTube feed and I clicked it. It was something different than usual and one specific sentence struck me:
We fear the idea of personal change, because we think we need to sacrifice something, to give something up. -Joaquin Phoenix
Now, I don’t know much about about this guy. I haven’t even seen the movie we won an award for, but all that didn’t matter in that moment. I had to think about the many situations I refused change in my life for exactly that reason. Over the last couple of years I have undergone tremendous change. And even I as a change-loving person, have resisted it in some areas of my life. And the reason for doing so, was, in fact, fear of loss. Uncontrolled loss, to be more precise. Also, many of us have learnt that you have to let go of something first before the new can come in. While I found this to be true, I also know that this “something” doesn’t have to be physical goods. Those are, however, how we often define us. Sadly, because we are so much more.
The good news is that in a second step I had to think about the overall outcome of my personal change and it turned out to be positive. And for that reason, I have decided to share more about my personal change on this website and in future. Means, this blog will be more active. Finally. It was about time.
So, I have a lot of ideas now. However, if you have suggestions for articles, feel free to contact me here.